15 Signs You Are Annoying & People Feel Forced To Tolerate You

Back when I was in high school, it was a very lonely time for me. I was a lonely geek who had no friends whatsoever, and honestly, that’s all I actually wanted to have.

After being bullied in middle school, I decided that polite rejection and occasionally being made fun of was probably a sign that people just were very busy. (Yes, I was delusional.)

Every month or so, I’d try to throw a party. And every month or so, I’d be lucky if a single person attended. Stupid as I was, I actually believed them when they said that they were too busy to attend.

It actually took me overhearing a group of them talking about what excuses they were going to use for my upcoming weekend party for me to realize that they hated me.

It took years for me to overcome the hurt and rejection I felt from classmates, and yes, it led me down some very rough roads. However, there is a good ending to this.

Eventually, I did find my own circle of friends and they’re a lot cooler and more successful than the people from my high school turned out to be.

That being said, I also learned some lessons about having a better personality and being attractive as a friend. After all, realizing that people just feel forced to tolerate you is a great catalyst for positive change.

What makes someone an annoying person?

An annoying person has many traits and qualities that attribute to them being viewed as irritating. An annoying person constantly complains and nothing helps make the situation better, even when people try to correct or solve the issue. They may be gloomy, interrupt often, and are extremely unreliable.

Annoying people will also break social norms, like taking a phone call in the library or trying too hard to make others laugh. They are typically incompatible with others.

At their core, annoying people aren't very concerned with the opinions or well-being of others. However, you may feel like you, yourself, are annoying others because of social anxiety, which can make people irritable and on edge and be construed as being annoying.

If you notice the following signs and characteristics, you may want new friends... or might want to work on your personality to appeal less annoying to others.

15 Signs You Are Annoying

1. You're never invited to parties, and people don't show up to any events you put together.

When people don’t want to voluntarily hang out with you, they don’t like you. It’s just that simple.

Unfortunately, if you are annoying to others, you won't be invited to hang out with them. If this bothers you, you can always ask why you weren't invited and work on what it is people reveal they don't like about you.

2. You don’t ever end up in group photos on social media.

The reason why they don’t put you there is that they’re embarrassed to be seen with you.

Remember: people see social media as a way to show off what a nice life they have. If they don’t want people to see them with you, that’s a sign you're annoying and they’re embarrassed to be seen with you.

3. You’re always the last to know.

In high school, I was the last to know that one “friend” got an award in science and had a party to celebrate. When I asked why I wasn’t told or invited, it was always, “I forgot.”

Nowadays, when this happens, I just stop talking to people and wait to see how long it takes until they realize I’ve dumped them.

If you seem to always be the last to know about something in your friend group, it could mean that you are found to be annoying to them. If this happens, check yourself and see if there is something you could work on to become a better version of yourself.

If you can't find anything out of the norm, you may just have made bad friends.

4. You’re always the first person to reach out.

Do you feel like you constantly have to pull teeth just to get others to say something to you? Yeah, that’s a sign they probably just tolerate you or keep you around because you’re useful to them.

This can also be a sign that communication is not the best in your group of friends. Many times people do just forget or self-isolate, so be sure they aren't just going through an episode before you go confronting people.

You could also bring up the situation and tell them how it makes you feel. If they are apologetic and take action to reach out more, you may not be annoying. If they don't correct the behavior, that's a sure sign you seem annoying to them.

5. Inside jokes go over your head.

The reason why none of the inside jokes make sense is that you’re really not on the inside. You just think you are.

Inside jokes often exclude others and make people feel like an outsider. If your friend group constantly uses them, this can be a sign that you are an outsider. But if it happens once in a blue moon, try not to overthink it.

6. Everyone knows where to go when they head out... except you.

When they tell you to “go to the club,” you don’t know what club they’re talking about. The reason why they know and you don’t is because they’ve gone there on a regular basis, and they just never invited you before.

This can be a hurtful sign, but at least you were invited, right?

7. You try to buy friends.

This is a big indicator that you probably know what’s up, and are trying to just make friends by paying their tab. If they won’t hang out with you without your wallet being a factor, they still aren’t your friends. (Sorry.)

This is a big warning flag of people just using you and not being your actual friend. Try just hanging out with them without buying anything and see how that goes. If it's awesome, great! If not, well... time to find new friends.

8. Your friends don’t really want to talk to you, seem to ignore you, and might even talk over you.

Yeah, this is disrespectful and pretty hurtful. I know that feeling well.

Sadly, this is a sign that you aren’t with people who are good to you. You might need to consider just bailing on them... even if you are annoying.

9. Your friends buy gifts for each other, but not you.

It’s not that they really forgot to give you a gift, it’s that you weren’t important enough for them to even consider it. This is another very hurtful sign, which can also be included with not wishing you a happy birthday and not being there when you need your friends.

If your friends are not supportive or don't celebrate you, get new friends. Even if you're an annoying person, no one should feel ostracized like that.

10. You feel pushed out.

You know that feeling like people are rushing every interaction they have with you or are ultimately holding back information that you probably should know?

Yes, that’s a pretty good indicator that these people really just tolerate you rather than like you.

11. People tell you that you’re the friend nobody likes.

Yes, I was told this back in high school. I didn’t believe it, but eventually, reality hit. Did it suck? Yes, but at the end of the day, it was my “friends” loss.

If you are told you are the friend no one wants around, then you simply aren't their friend. You have to swallow your pride and move on. Find a group of people who accept you.

12. People sigh a lot when you're around them.

Sighing is a big red flag that you are annoying. If you are around people and they sign often, they may find you difficult to be around.

People sigh when they are irritated, annoyed, and frustrated. When people sigh in social situations, it's a subtle sign of annoyance, so read the room and fix yourself as needed, especially if you're the only one who isn't sighing.

13. People lock eyes with one another to silently commiserate about your presence.

Annoying people can talk a lot and others will often communicate this silently.

One of the ways you can tell if you're being annoying is if your friends lock eyes with each other. This means your "friends" are communicating with each other and may even be bonding over how annoying you sound to them.

If you feel this is happening often, you can always speak up and let them know how they are making you feel.

14. No one asks you about your life.

If no one seems to be interested in what you have going on in your life, they may not care about getting to know you better because they find you to be annoying. They also may be avoiding a topic so you don't get to brag or talk about yourself.

Unfortunately, this is not a good sign. It means that they don't care enough about you enough to put their own feelings aside so you feel supported. Find new friends if no one asks about your life.

15. Awkward silence follows you like a plague.

If all of your conversations feel forced and have stretches of awkward silence, it's a sign you may be annoying.

If people aren't jumping to have a talk with you or try to change the subject, they don't want to be around you. If this happens all the time, reflect on yourself and see if there is something you can do about it.

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Alex Alexander is a pseudonym. The author of this article is known to YourTango but is choosing to remain anonymous.