Loyal readers of this blog know that I've been on my fair share of first dates, a much smaller number of second dates, and only one third date. Many of you have accused me of being too quick to close the door, and I see where you're coming from. But I'm a firm believer in holding out for the The Spark, and in my experience it's either there from the beginning or it's not (according to Erin, this is common among guys). So what does The Spark feel like? Well, there's no single definition, but here are four things I look for on a first date:

I'm trying WAY too hard to be cool. When it comes to first dates, I'm generally pretty relaxed. But if I'm really attracted to a girl my mind goes into overdrive and I start over-thinking everything. Am I chewing too loud? Does this pasta make my nose look big? And why the hell did I tell her that joke about the monkey and the transvestite?

I find potential flaws endearing. For someone who is frequently accused of being too picky, when I like a girl she can do no wrong. A few months ago I went out with a woman who was kinda quiet, and I had to work really hard to keep the conversation going. But for whatever reason I felt a spark between us, and so I thought her shyness was cute as all get out. But I've gone out with other women who didn't have much to say and found it kind of annoying. What can I say? When there's a spark I change from Jerry Seinfeld to Richard Simmons. 3 Secrets To Exuding Sexy

I want to order dessert. Even when a date isn't working out, I always do my best not to rush things. But I draw the line at dessert—there's no need to waste the time and calories (Erin has a much different philosophy when it comes to dessert and dating). So when my sweet tooth starts aching I know that I'm hooked.

I'm listening to happy music on my way home. Is there a better feeling in the world than driving home after an awesome date and singing along to "Hooked On A Feeling" or "Love and Happiness". (I actually take the subway home, so I have to quietly hum along.)

What signs do you look for on a first date? How long do you wait for a spark? Can you remember your all-time favorite first date? What was it like? And what music do you listen to after an awesome date?

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