I was a stripper for two years in my early 40s (yes, I was like the grandmother of the club), and it was probably the most empowering experience of my life. 

Not only was it personally empowering, but it greatly improved my sex life with my partner.

1. My self-confidence went through the roof.

I'd always been at least slightly uncomfortable being complimented on my appearance, but with men complimenting me on ALL parts of my body, I had to get used to it.

I mean, really, who gets complimented about how cute her earlobes are?

This girl, apparently.

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2. Dancing made me more comfortable.

I'd been really self-conscious about dancing in public after seeing myself dance at a rock club in the 80s (think Elaine from Seinfeld). 

If you can't be comfortable dancing, you're not likely to be comfortable having sex.

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3. Fantasy is extremely important to keep things fresh.

Strip clubs sell fantasy, and I had a chance to try on all sorts of roles.

With my newfound self-confidence, I was able to initiate some of those fantasies for my partner.

So not only were we acting out a fantasy, but I was the one taking charge.

A double turn-on for him!

"If there's one specific person who's likely to appear in your sexual fantasies, it's your current romantic partner. 9 in 10 people say they've fantasized about a current partner before, and most people say they fantasize about their partner often." —Dr. Justin Lehmiller

4. Variety is the spice of life.

Sure, I had customers who came in for me and only me, but my favorite customer came in for variety.

He'd spend time with me, but then he'd be off looking for someone who didn't look like me.

The only dancer he didn't like was the one who looked like his wife.

At home, variety helped keep not only my partner but also myself excited about our sex life.

5. There's comfort in asking for what I wanted.

At the club, there was no sense in being shy or coy.

"A girl plays with your mind. A woman explores it."

If I wanted to take a guy for a dance, I had to ask him.

If I didn't want him to touch me a certain way, I had to tell him.

If I liked the way he was touching me, I was sure to tell him.

At home, that translated into more intense and frequent orgasms because I was able to say what I wanted.

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Rather than getting pissed that your guy is going to a strip joint, I suggest joining him. It's a lot more fun than you might imagine. 

Johanna Lyman has been a life coach since 2004 and an energy healer since 2001. S