What's the worst joke you've ever found in a Christmas cracker? We know, how can you possibly decide when there are so many howlers to choose from?

Crackers are one of those festive traditions we can't seem to do without, despite the bad jokes and cheap gifts we inevitably find inside. After all, Christmas dinner just wouldn't be the same without the eye rolling, heavy sighing and good-natured groans from beneath flimsy paper hats. 

Take a look at the 50 least funny cracker jokes and see if you agree...

The top 50 worst Christmas cracker jokes

1. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? 

He was picking his nose

2. When is a boat just like snow? 

When it’s adrift

3. What happens to elves when they are naughty? 

Santa gives them the sack

4. Who delivers presents to cats? 

Santa Paws

5. Why do birds fly south in the winter?

It's too far to walk

6. What do you call buying a piano for the holidays?

Christmas Chopin

7. How does Christmas Day end? 

With the letter Y

8. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party? 

Because he had no body to go with

9. What type of key do you need for a Nativity play? 

A don-key

10. What do snowmen have for breakfast? 

Ice Crispies

11. What do monkeys sing at Christmas? 

Jungle bells

12. What is white and minty? 

A polo bear

13. What cars do elves drive? 

Toy-otas

14. What did the farmer get for Christmas?

A cowculator

15. Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb? 

Because it would say, “Baaaaahh humbug”

16. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

"Can you smell carrots?"

17. What do snowmen eat for lunch? 

Iceburgers

18. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? 

Santa Clues

19. What’s a child’s favourite king at Christmas? 

A stocking

20. What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery? 

Welfy

21. Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?

The outside

22. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? 

Rude-olph

23. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? 

A rebel without a Claus

24. Why does Santa go down the chimney? 

Because it soots him

25. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky? 

"Looks like rain, dear"

26. Who's Rudolph's favourite singer?

Beyon-sleigh

27. What do the elves cook with in the kitchen? 

Utinsels

28. What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? 

Christmas chopping

29. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? 

A pineapple

30. Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole? 

No well, no well

31. Why does your nose get tired in winter?

It runs all day

32. What is the most competitive season? 

Win-ter

33. What are the best Christmas sweaters made from? 

Fleece Navidad

34. What kind of music do elves listen to?

Wrap

35. Why don’t penguins fly? 

Because they’re not tall enough to be pilots

36. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? 

"Quit hanging around"

37. What’s a dog’s favourite carol? 

Bark, the herald angels sing

38. What did the dog get for Christmas? 

A mobile bone

39. Why did Rudolph log on to Amazon when his tail fell off? 

Because they’re the biggest online re-tailers

40. Who is a Christmas tree's favourite singer?

Spruce Springsteen

41. What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf? 

You are so last season

42. Why do mummies love Christmas? 

Because there is tonnes of wrapping

43. Where does Father Christmas go for an action-packed weekend of activities? 

Santa Parcs

44. How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? 

They use Santa-tizer

45. Why was Cinderella no good at football?

Because her coach was a pumpkin

46. How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey?

On the dark side

47. Why wouldn’t the cat climb the Christmas tree? 

It was afraid of the bark

48. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited? 

He keeps a logbook

49. What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? 

Santapplause

50. What was the bauble's secret addiction?

It was hooked on trees

This article has been updated for Christmas 2021.