Connecting with your ex's exes is a time-honored tradition — for some people. Nothing validates your opinion about that crazy person you used to date like finding another person who had the same experience. That's what 90 Day Fiancé stars Jesse Meester and Tom Brooks have found out when they connected to talk over the shared experience dating Darcey Silva. 

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Silva, who has been on 90 Day Fiancé twice trying to find the love of her life overseas, hasn't ended up engaged. In fact, both Dutch native Meester and British Brooks broke things off with her. The two men had the chance to meet face-to-face at the tell-all for Before The 90 Days and they didn't get along on camera. But later, Brooks took the time to reach out to Meester and they made some surprising discoveries. 

Are Jesse Meester and Tom Brooks friends in real life? But first, let's back up a bit.

1. What happened with Darcey and Jesse?

Silva was 43 years old when she started chatting online with Meester who was 12 years her junior. The divorced mom of two was hoping to start the next chapter of her life with a new partner and she made the trip to the Amsterdam to meet him in person. The couple clashed over her drinking habits but they eventually made up and he ended her trip by dropping to one knee in a scenic windmill and offering her a ring. He ruined the moment by telling her it wasn't an engagement ring though, just a promise ring. 

The couple got in front of cameras again when Meester came to the US to visit Silva and meet her children but the trip was less than successful. They fought about everything from the way to cook a steak to Silva scuffing one of Meester's shoes. After a lot of tears and drama, they eventually connected one last time to dramatically break up in front of the TLC cameras.

Jesse Meester in 2020. 

2. What happened with Darcey and Tom?

While Silva was feeling sad about her break-up with Meester, she reached out to a friend for support. She and 39-year-old Tom Brooks had evidently met through professional connections years before but they were never single at the same time before. When they connected post-Jesse, they started an online romance. Silva felt confident enough in their relationship to plan a trip to England to visit him. It started out well enough but then they headed to Albania to meet up with Silva's twin sister Stacey and her fiancé and things took a turn. The twins squabbled the whole time and Brooks found the whole experience off-putting, as well as disliking Darcey's habit of emotional outbursts, particularly when the outbursts were rants about Meester. They got back to London and tried to end on a high note but even that rendesvous fell flat. Over a romantic dinner, Brooks handed Silva what looked like a jewelry box. But instead of the engagement ring she wanted, it was a copy of his house key. Needless to say, Silva wasn't enthused about being cheated out of an on-camera proposal for the second time but she wanted to keet the relationship going once she got home. Brooks felt differently and broke up with her via video chat. 

Brooks is uncomfortable with Silva's high emotions. 

3. What happened at the tell-all?

In the latest season of Before the 90 Days, Silva and Brooks are back. Silva told cameras that she and Brooks reunited in New York for the tell-all from the last season and decided to give things another try. But they weren't the only ones there. For some inexplicable reason, producers brought in Meester to do a segment. Meester, who is now modeling and doing motivational speaking, talked about his post-Dacrey life a bit. While Meester was on set saying that even after breaking up, Silva had called and texted him obsessively, Brooks was sitting with other cast members saying that Meester was an obstacle to his happiness with Silva. Brooks said that Meester showing up at TLC would just feed Silva's preoccupation with him, thus harming the relationship Brooks and Silva were trying to build.

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4. Are Jesse Meester and Tom Brooks friends in real life?

Aas we're seeing in the new season, the post-tell-all path for Silva and Brooks was not paved with roses. They grew apart and we're now seeing them end their relationship. It's no spoiler: the two have been out and about with other people since filming ended. The surprise, however, is that while Silva and Brooks grew apart, Brooks and Meester found unexpected common ground. 

Brooks showed up in Meester's Instagram comments to say that he thought Meester was an ok guy, which led to a private meet-up between to the two TLC stars to talk things over. In a now-expired Instagram story, Meester shared the details of their conversation about Silva. 

"Tom did reach out to me and I accepted his apology. We had a good yet shocking conversation and found out we were both manipulated and played at the same time. Not surprising, but not less painful when you are trying to help and love someone when it's really all a lie. She told him how bad I was and she told me how bad he was. Result: I thought he was a bad guy and he thought I was. Calls and messages right after me or him in AM. Right after each other. It was a pattern. Almost professional."

Meester added, "We both had our lesson and I explained why I never 'warned' him and kept my mouth shut. It's because I had to leave no room for her to point fingers, except herself. Although while watching and hearing him, I truly felt bad for him. Nobody deserves this. The truth played out itself. Tom and I were both lied to. He had his lesson, as I had mine."

"I moved on from this but I want to put a message out there of hope for anyone who went through something similar. Please be mindful of red flags. Read them. Understand them. And ask questions before falling deeper and deeper and losing your rational [sic]," he concluded. "We both helped and tried. And it only backfired. Now we are helping each other and have coffee. Good guy. God, truth and real love always prevail. Love you all."

5. How does Darcey Silva feel about this development?

Unsurprisingly, Silva thinks they're ganging up on her unfairly. In a recent interview, she said "It was like a slap in the face, but that’s their style and they’re going to do what they want to do anyway. I think people could see through that. What was the reason for it? [Tom] knew exactly how I got treated and he thought that I was very much disrespected by Jesse and for them to kind of band up and I felt ganged up on,” explained Silva.

6. Is any of this real?

There's no question that all three of these people have used reality TV notoriety to boost their careers. Meester has gone into modeling and motivational speaking since being on the show; prior to that he was a personal trainer. Brooks, who did something associated with the fashion industry before the show, is now headlining events and doing photoshoots largely on the strength of his newly-burnished reputation as a cable TV celebrity. Silva and her sister are trying to elevate their fashion brand by expanding into bridal wear and there are rumors that they'll be getting their own TLC spin-off. 

All of this raises the question of whether the drama between these individuals is real or if it's all strategically done to keep them in the headlines. Only they know for sure.

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Rebekah Kuschmider has been writing about celebrities, pop culture, entertainment, and politics since 2010. She is the creator of the blog FeminXer and she is a cohost of the weekly podcast The More Perfect Union.