Maybe you were Prom King, maybe you were the class clown, maybe you were the kid who spent all their time hiding out in the A/V lab making angsty movies on the computer (nerds are cool now, don’t worry!), but regardless of your role, chances are strong that your high-school experience had a big impact on the rest of your life. Those years are so formative, in fact, that countless movies and shows have mined them for content, with prep schools, in particular, making frequent subjects, thanks to their high stakes, idyllic settings, and seemingly endless store of drama. The latest fictional prep school to grace our screens? Barton Academy in Alexander Payne’s new film, The Holdovers, a New England boarding-school home to hormonal boys and a grumpy Paul Giamatti.

Whether Barton is a dreamy school full of talented teachers and ambitious students or a horror of an institution with abusive faculty and never-ending detentions remains to be seen, pending the movie’s November 10 wide release. But in the meantime, we can rank 14 other notable prep schools from film and TV, which we’ve done below. Take note before reading, though: We’ve purposely left off any facilities with magic and/or nonhuman members because it’s impossible to determine a school’s worth when kids are constantly flying around campus or getting turned into vampires. You won’t find Hogwarts or St. Vladimir’s on this list, but you will find plenty of other prep schools that made sizable onscreen impacts.

Welton Academy (Dead Poets Society)

Ranked First in: Inspiring Teachers
Ranked Last in: Humane Punishment

O Captain, My Captain. The all-male Vermont prep school in 1989’s Dead Poets Society makes the brilliant decision to hire the eccentric and empathetic John Keating (Robin Williams) to teach English — only to later punish him for his unconventional approach to education. A paddle-loving headmaster ruins all the fun, but before Keating is fired, he manages to make an enormous positive impact on his students, inspiring rebellion and creativity in equal measure.

Chilton Preparatory School (Gilmore Girls)

Ranked First in: Ivy League Acceptance
Ranked Last in: Dateable Boys

There’s no question that Rory Gilmore’s time at prestigious Chilton paves the way for her Yale admission and sets her up for all her future success. But while the school offers no shortage of academic opportunities, it seriously lacks when it comes to dateable guys. Is the childish, flat-out rude Tristan (Chad Michael Murray) really the only option for straight female students to swoon over? I know the school is small, but come on — there have to be some other options!

Rushmore Academy (Rushmore)

Ranked First in: Quirky Décor
Ranked Last in: Boundaries 

Like all Wes Anderson movies, Rushmore features the filmmaker’s distinct style, which can be seen in the quirky, aesthetically pleasing design of its Houston-prep-school setting. That said, some funky colors and art can’t make up for the fact that the lines between students and teachers at Rushmore Academy are so blurred that they’re practically nonexistent. During his time at the school, Max (Jason Schwartzman) becomes so enmeshed in the lives of multiple teachers that he ruins marriages, reveals declarations of love, and, at one point, cuts the brake lines on Bill Murray’s car. Boundaries, people — they’re good!

Horace Green (School of Rock)

Ranked First in: Musical Education
Ranked Last in: Vetting Faculty

For students (at least in the class taught by Jack Black’s Dewey Finn), Horace Green is a dream: a welcoming, supportive environment in which every kid gets individual attention and a time to shine. For parents? Not so much. Imagine forking over tens of thousands of dollars a year to send your child to an elite prep school that you hope will prepare them for their Ivy League future — only to learn that a broke, not-so-bright musician pretended to be a teacher all year and the administration never caught on. Did they even learn math? Probably not!

Baird (Scent of a Woman)

Ranked First in: High Drama 
Ranked Last in: Ethics

There’s not a lot to love about the exclusive New England prep school Baird, considering that its headmaster literally bribes a student (Chris O’Donnell) with a Harvard acceptance to get him to narc on his classmates. Not cool! But at least the kid in question gets a fair disciplinary hearing that’s full of cinematic drama, including a change of heart by the committee and a rousing speech by Al Pacino.

Constance Billard-St. Jude’s School (Gossip Girl)

Ranked First in: After-School Activities
Ranked Last in: Adult Supervision

For the sake of this ranking, we’re combining both the girls’ and boys’ schools of the original Gossip Girl, since they’re fairly equal in terms of both academics and social opportunities. And oh, are there social opportunities! As long as they have money (and who doesn’t?), the school’s teen students have access to more parties, galas, and black-tie events than most adults attend in a lifetime. Just don’t expect any parents or teachers to care if students are sneaking in alcohol or hooking up in classrooms — they’re too busy with their own, only marginally more-mature dramas.

Saint Benedict’s Academy (The Emperor’s Club)

Ranked First in: Classical Education
Ranked Last in: Cheating Enforcement
For the majority of high-schoolers, having to learn Greek and Latin wouldn’t exactly be the highlight of their days. But at the elite all-boys Saint Benedict’s boarding school, classics is an in-demand class, thanks to the wise, fair, and empathetic teachings of William Hundert (Kevin Kline). Hundert cares deeply for each of his students — which makes the constant cheating by one of them (Emile Hirsch’s Sedgewick Bell) so frustrating. Despite Hundert’s protests, Sedgewick gets away with his cheating not once but twice, courtesy of his senator father’s donations to the school.

Illyria (She’s the Man)

Ranked First in: Soccer
Ranked Last in: Parental Communication

Look, nothing about She’s the Man is meant to be realistic. But how can a student switch places with her sibling at boarding school for a whole year — attending classes, sleeping in the dorms, playing sports — without any faculty catching on and alerting the kids’ parents? You’d think a school that prestigious would be better at communicating with its students’ families, but alas, not so. At least the soccer team (as led by Channing Tatum, natch) is strong.

St. Matthew’s Academy (School Ties)

Ranked First in: Honor Code Enforcement
Ranked Last in: Tolerance

As David (Brendan Fraser) quickly learns, you do not want to be Jewish at St. Matthew’s, a Massachusetts boarding school where antisemitism runs so rampant that Nazi flags are practically part of the décor. Ironically, the school does have a very strong honor code, in which cheaters like Matt Damon’s Dillon are heartily punished (if not always promptly).

Bel-Air Academy (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)

Ranked First in: Athletics
Ranked Last in: Quality of Legacy Admissions

As far as onscreen prep schools go, Bel-Air Academy is fairly average: competitive but not too pressure-filled, fun but not dangerously so. One way it does stand out, though, is its sports; the school has a number of highly competitive teams, including basketball (which Will and Carlton both excel at). However, Bel-Air Academy is far less impressive when it comes to nepotism, with Uncle Phil’s connections and money allowing Will entrance despite his less-than-stellar grades.

Las Encinas (Elite)

Ranked First in: Scholarship Opportunities
Ranked Last in: Graduation Rate

The show’s name says it all: Las Encinas is the most exclusive (fictional) private school in Madrid, catering to offspring of the international rich and powerful. Yet an impressive number of its students are on scholarship, with their educations funded by wealthier alumni. On the downside, however, the school’s graduation rate is disturbingly low, with far more students than you’d think getting expelled, dying, or mysteriously leaving for various other opportunities.

Williamson Prep (The Hate U Give)

Ranked First in: Academic Offerings
Ranked Last in: Racial Diversity

Williamson Prep, the private school attended by Starr Carter (Amandla Stenberg), has everything a student could want academically: challenging classes, thoughtful teachers, a wide mix of clubs and activities. What the school lacks, though, is diversity; less than ten Black students attend the predominantly white institution, and discussions about subjects like police brutality and civil rights aren’t exactly commonplace.

The Harbor School (The O.C.)

Ranked First In: Scenic Views
Ranked Last In: Fair Disciplinary Decisions

The Harbor School, which Ryan, Marissa, Summer, and Seth attend as teens, has many perks: stunning beachside views, solid extracurriculars, the fanciest high-school cafeteria you’ve ever seen. But none of that matters if you have a truly evil dean of discipline who unilaterally decides to expel multiple students and has no problem manipulating the system to get what he wants. Good thing Sandy knows how to blackmail, because the students deserve way better.

A Real Ranking of Fake Prep Schools