Character Analysis

Groupie Discount

Columbia's a human woman who has become a groupie for Frank and his band of aliens. (It's unsure if she knew they were aliens.) She was also a lover of both Eddie and Frank, although it's unclear whom she loved first. It seems that Columbia was Eddie's girlfriend while Eddie was still alive, but that, too, isn't certain.

Columbia sets herself apart from the rest of the group by her high-pitched singing voice, her crazy-good burlesque skills, and the fact that she chooses to be there. Riff Raff and Magenta appear to be obligated to be Frank's servants. Brad and Janet show up by accident. But Columbia initially chooses to join Frank, probably because she is entranced by his open sexual attitudes.

But Frank's a little too open for Columbia, and she decides to rebel. She tells him off in one of the movie's longest monologues.

COLUMBIA: My God! I can't stand any more of this! First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky! You chew people up and then you spit them out again. I loved you. Do you hear me? I loved you! And what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you: a big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah, well, I've had enough.

She tells it like it is, but it's too little too late. Columbia's killed by Riff Raff later, making her the only human character to die in the movie. Maybe joining a house full of intergalactic transvestites isn't a good idea after all?