Grading the Rockies’ walk-up songs — what’s working and what needs a remix

There are rules to the walk-up song. In the time it takes a batter to reach home plate, a mood is on the line, a vibe. They get about 15 seconds to tell a story. This is not the time to casually ho-hum.

The best walk-up songs have purpose. Larry Walker set a three-decade tone in Colorado for walk-up songs. Can you remember two Rockies walk-up songs from before 2015? Bet you can remember one, though. “Crazy Train” was the soundtrack of Coors Field for 10 years. For better or worse, an entrance song says more about some players than the backs of their baseball cards.

But a few things are critical. 1. The song can’t meander. It must convey a mood quickly. 2. The tone must be clear. Ian Desmond walked up to “Rock Steady,” a great song, but Aretha Franklin did not record that for it to be played on stadium speakers. It was lost at Coors Field. Great songs don’t necessarily make for good walk-ups. And 3. It should tell us something about a player.

These 2022 Rockies are trying to find their way, with a roster fronted by new names and some young players trying to break through. Their lineup is a work in progress. So is their playlist. Here, a close examination of what is working and what isn’t with the Rockies’ walk-up songs. Because if the Crazy Train is on track, so is the team. As always, feel free to offer your suggestions below.

Disclaimer: Some of the songs below contain explicit language — listener discretion is advised.

DH Connor Joe

Current song: Childish Gambino, “Redbone”

Stats: .270 avg., .873 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 7.7

Joe might be the most outwardly joyful player in Colorado since Carlos González, a breath of fresh air in the clubhouse and on the field. A year ago, his season was delayed by injury and he became a bit player off the bench. Now he’s a key piece of their lineup, reaching base more than any other hitter. When he came up last season, this was his song. A fine song, to be sure, but that was then. Now Joe needs a fresh start with a new song. We should help him.

Alt take: Bad Brains, “Redbone in the City”

Urgency to change (1-10): 2. Really, if Joe is going to be a jack-of-all-trades, taking on DH duties and playing first base, left field and right field, he should have a rotation of several songs, depending on the day. His Childish Gambino track is totally fine, but maybe the carousel can include the spicier Bad Brains song and Redbone’s “Come and Get Your Love,” too. Lean into it.

RF Charlie Blackmon

Current song: The Outfield, “Your Love”

Stats: .262 avg., .816 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 2.8

Don’t press play on that. You know what it sounds like. If we polled 100 people in Denver to name this song, 98 of them would say it’s called “Charlie Blackmon’s walk-up song.” I was talking to my niece the other day and she started singing it. She’s in the fourth grade. Everybody loves this song. But, um, have you paid attention to the lyrics? It’s right on the line of being very creepy.

Blackmon picked this song because the band is called The Outfield and he’s an outfielder and because it has a line that everybody can sing. There’s no deep reasoning behind it. And, like the beard, he’s kind of wedded to it now. But America was built on reinvention. D.H. Lawrence wrote about it: “She starts old, old, wrinkled and writhing in an old skin. And there is a gradual sloughing of the old skin, towards a new youth.”

Alt take: Bob Dylan, “Man in Me”

Urgency to change (1-10): 5. During spring training, Blackmon walked into the clubhouse early one morning wearing a hat, but his hair was all gone. I ran up to him and asked, “Is everything OK?”

“What do you mean?” he said. “Oh, the hair?”

He took off his hat and his mullet fell out. He had it tied up under his lid. “Stand down. No breaking news. Everything is OK,” he said.

It’s becoming more difficult to tell where Charlie Blackmon ends and Chuck Nazty begins. But he knows. We should allow Charlie the space to be him, if he wants, even if we have to say goodbye to Chuck. He’s in his 12th year with the Rockies. He’s earned the right to reinvent himself back to his original state. This is what “Man in Me” is about. Bob Dylan reinvented himself over and over again. Why not Charlie? Oh, it would be easy to sing along to the start of that song.

LF Kris Bryant

Current song: Kid Cudi, “Tequila Shots”

Stats: .281 avg., .689 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 4.9

The album this Kid Cudi song comes from is called “Man on the Moon III: The Chosen.” It’s a concept album with a concept that got lost somewhere around the colon in the title. So there’s no way to glean what the song means in the time it takes Bryant to walk to the plate. He’s new to Colorado, obviously, and he doesn’t really belong to Rockies fans yet. The connection is still thin. Does “Tequila Shots” get you any closer to knowing Kris Bryant? It’s not working.

Alt take: Kris Kross, “Warm It Up”

Urgency to change (1-10): 9.8. In 2017, a year after Bryant won the MVP award and led the Cubs to a World Series win, he used “Warm It Up” as his walkup song. It was perfect. It was singable in the stands and perfect in context. He raked that year. But the Cubs fell to the Dodgers in the NL Championship Series and Chicago fans started turning sour. They went 108 years without winning a World Series, then won one and suddenly turned greedy. That must have been tough on Bryant. He’s said that one reason for his signing in Colorado was to escape that kind of tension.

So, maybe this song brings back rough memories. But if Bryant found a new path in Colorado, the song can, too. Let’s hear it.

1B C.J. Cron

Current song: Randy Houser, “Runnin’ Out of Moonlight”

Wanna know what a major league clubhouse sounds like? It’s not all belches and snapping towels. It sounds like Randy Houser singing this song. This is a 2 WAR, .250 batter song — it is the exact league average song. As a walkup song, it is entirely unobtrusive and not at all objectionable. You can keep on eating nachos and slurping beer and this song will float by you in the background leaving your vibe untouched.

Stats: .280 avg., .957 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 5.0

Alt take: Ought, “Desire”

Urgency to change (1-10): 0.31. What do you really know about C.J. Cron? He’s from Fullerton, Calif. He went to the University of Utah. The Rockies signed him as a reclamation project. He hits a lot of homers. He shaves his beard too far up his chin. And he’s tall. In summation: He’s good at baseball. That Ought song is similar. It kinda hums along as it builds. The vocals are not quite standard, and then at about 2:40 it kicks in and swings for the fence. It’s kinda Cron-y. Real-life Cron is trending for a career year this season. His seven homers and .653 slugging percentage have him on track for the All-Star Game. He’s certainly better than average. There’s no reason to swerve here. That 2-WAR Randy Houser song is perfect.

CF Randal Grichuk

Current song: Nelly and Florida Georgia Line, “Lil’ Bit”

Stats: .327 avg., .879 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 6.9

Grichuk came of age in the major leagues with the Cardinals, where he played his career-best year (in 2015) and had his best extended stretch (two postseasons in four years). Naturally, he chose a Nelly song to walk up with. Nelly is very St. Louis – he sits field level at Busch Stadium with his mom and he’s even had his own Cardinals bobblehead day. Understandable that Grichuk might want to capture that St. Louisan spirit on his newest team.

Alt takes: Megan Thee Stallion, “Thot S—“
or B.o.B. and 2 Chainz, “HeadBand”

Urgency to change (1-10): 6.9

Grichuk is new to Colorado, arriving by trade late in spring training. He’s been stuck in the junior circuit with the Blue Jays for the past four years. It’s time to leave the St. Louis part of his career behind. It’d be helpful if he re-introduced himself to the National League with a song that’s more him. He’s originally from the Houston area and now lives in the Atlanta area. And those two cities offer plenty of opportunities to express the nougaty center of his soul. Megan Thee Stallion (Houston) and 2 Chainz (Atlanta) via B.o.B. work. Both these songs are older now and, uh, Rob Manfred would demand the edited versions, but they work as walk-ups.

3B Ryan McMahon

Current song: Hippie Sabotage, “Drifter”

Stats: .242 avg., .743 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 0.01

McMahon last year walked up to Mase’s “Welcome Back” from 2004. It suffered the classic walk-up song mistake. Usually, a batter gets about 5-10 seconds to get from the on-deck circle to the box, so a walk-up song has to be immediately recognizable. That Mase song rarely had a chance to kick in. It sounded like McMahon was walking up to “Welcome Back, Kotter.” That certainly would be a statement, but not a good one. This year, McMahon flipped a U-turn. But what did he choose? An EDM song! It’s not working. McMahon has a chill personality, Colorado by way of Southern California. He doesn’t need a song that sounds like quaaludes. He needs a song that sounds like somebody who just signed a $70 million dollar contract extension and is ready to rumble.

Alt take: Momma, “Rockstar”

Urgency to change (1-10): 10.0. This Momma song rocks. And it fits McMahon perfectly: The band is from Los Angeles (+1), they’re ready to break out big (+1), they’re fun as hell (+1), witty (+1) and not too serious or full of themselves (+1). And the song works from the jump. Is it a stretch to imagine that McMahon “karaokes Rocket Man”? It’s not. That sounds like him. This song is perfect. All the kids would bang their heads to this song at Coors Field. Your grandma will bang her head to this song. It’s on the shortlist of 2022 summer jams. Let’s get ripped!

2B Brendan Rodgers

Current song: J.I.D, “Surround Sound”

Stats: .078 avg., .270 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 7.5

Points for picking something new. In two months, this song will be everywhere and you’ll hear it and think: how do I know that song? And it will bug you for two weeks until you forget the details and then one night, maybe you’re on the party deck at Coors Field, Rodgers will come to bat and it will finally dawn on you. And then you’ll wonder why you spent all that time thinking about it. It’s a cool song and all. But it suffers the classic walk-up song mistake: All the good parts are buried as a walk-up song. In the moment, it sounds like “Ms. Fat Booty” at the wrong speed. Which it is. But that’s missing the point.

Alt take: Jack Harlow, “First Class”

Urgency to change (1-10): 10.0. “First Class” is already everywhere. And that’s OK. Rodgers is the youngest player on the team. Might as well lean into it and play to the TikTok crowd. And Rodgers needs to change things right now. He’s hitting .078.

C Elias Díaz

Current song: Guaco, “Vivo”

Stats: .245 avg., .650 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 7.7

Guaco has been around since the early ’60s, long before Díaz was born. Shoot, his parents were probably little kids when this band formed. They’re threaded into the fabric of Venezuela. What Rush is to Canada, Guaco is to Venezuela. They’ve reinvented themselves so many times, they might as well start adding versions after their name. “Vivo” came out in 2012, so that would be like Guaco version 6.2, or something. It works. Ask any of the Venezuelan players on the Rockies roster about this song and they’ll know it by heart, probably. That’s cool.

Alt take: C4 Trío, “Homenaje a Billo”

Urgency to change (1-10): 2.5. Here’s a newer song, from 2020, from a band that features Venezuela’s national instrument, the four-string cuatro. It’s danceable. It’s also more than nine minutes long, so if Dave Roberts reaches for his bullpen for a matchup arm trying to keep Díaz from homering, the new pitcher can warm up for a while while we chew on cuatro. But Guaco works. Might as well dance with the date who brung ya, as the saying goes.

SS José Iglesias

Current song: Post Malone, “Wow.”

Stats: .333 avg., .774 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 8.1

This song has been played more than a billion times on Spotify. Billion, with a B. You’ve heard this song without trying. Abraham Lincoln has heard this song. And it’s not even the most played song on that album. It’s not even the second-most played song on that album! That song from the “Spider-Verse” movie has been played more than two billion times. Incredible. “Wow.” works because it’s universal. It works in a bar and at the grocery store and as a walk-up song. This song is a gimme.

Alt take: Miley Cyrus, “Party in the U.S.A.”

Urgency to change (1-10): 5.0. Miley Cyrus has nothing to do with Iglesias or these Rockies or the now times. But it would be a fun shoutout to the true ‘heads. It’d be kinda funny for Colorado’s newest shortstop, who’s here on a one-year contract to bridge a roster gap to the future before Ezequiel Tovar arrives, to suddenly start using Troy Tulowitzki’s walk-up song. Tulo picked the song because he knew the youngs would know it and he said he liked the song. (If he ever actually listened to the entire song, let alone that whole album, all the way through, I’d be shocked.) I can’t tell if this would be a funny joke. Probably not. Just stick with the song that has a billion plays and Post Malone will keep cashing in his $0.73 royalty checks from Spotify.

OF Sam Hilliard

Current song: Chase Matthews, “County Line”

Stats: .250 avg., .721 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 5.0

Last year, Hilliard walked up to “Astronaut in the Ocean” by Masked Wolf. That was a better song. It pumped through a stadium a little clearer, over the din of the crowd. But “County Line” sounds more like Hilliard. It’s in a minor chord, which is a bit of a bummer, but it plays like a rolling thunderstorm. There’s something to the idea of Hilliard hitting a third-deck shot as storm clouds gather over Coors Field, lighting in the distance. Kind of a Roy Hobbs vibe.

Alt take: Masked Wolf, “Astronaut in the Ocean”

Urgency to change (1-10): 5.0. The clearest alternative is to get back to Masked Wolf. But Hilliard hit .215 last year and struggled through some swing changes. Best bet is to steer clear of that idea. Then again, he’s hitting just .231 this year. So maybe he needs a third option. Problem is, these songs are like swings. All that tinkering can turn a hitter into knots. Tough call.

C Dom Nuñez

Current song: 2Pac, “Thugz Mansion”

Stats: .154 avg., .599 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 3.5

This song is too obvious. It’s played. “Jock Jams, Volume 163” has this song on it. As a catcher, Nuñez is probably too busy shuffling between pitchers’ meetings and hitters’ meetings to be thinking about a walk-up song. That’s why we’re here. To think about this pointless stuff.

Alt take: Ice Cube, “Friday”

Urgency to change (1-10): 9.6. Now here’s somebody who definitely needs to get back to his original. Nuñez last year walked up to “Friday” by Ice Cube. It was awesome. It worked from Game 1 through Game 81. It’s a great walk-up song. It has the best opening half-second in a song since the snare shot in “Like a Rolling Stone.” Ice Cube giving a ballpark full of people the raspberries. Did you hear the story about how Cube stole the chorus from Cypress Hill and it started a years-long battle? Don’t look it up. It did. “Friday” can move you like that.

INF Alan Trejo

Current song: Cam’ron, “Oh Boy”

Stats: .259 avg., .656 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 1.3

This is a great walk-up song — if your name is Brent Butler and you’re the Rockies’ utility infielder in 2002.

Alt take: 16 Horsepower, “Brimstone Rock”

Urgency to change (1-10): 9.1. No idea how 16 Horsepower would work as a walk-up song. It might not carry clearly through Coors Field’s speakers. But I can bet this: The true Denver kids will carry Alan Trejo on their shoulders all the way to the Lion’s Lair to drink until close if he walks up to this song and homers.

OF Yonathan Daza

Current song: Sonora Carruseles, “Micaela”

Stats: .368 avg., .768 OPS
Song grade (1-10): 10.0. Do you know this song? You should know this song. It’s a huge hit. And it’s a jam. It works no matter where you start it or where you end it. It’s like a perfectly looped GIF.

Alt take: Vicente Fernández, “El Rey”
or Bad Bunny and J Balvin, “Yo Le Llego”

Urgency to change (1-10): 0.4. “El Rey” is a Hall of Fame hype song, but it works better for a boxer entering the ring (that’s why Canelo Alvarez uses it) or a relief pitcher jogging in from the bullpen. As a hitter’s song, it loses some punch. The Bad Bunny song works, too. But Daza has great taste in music. It’s why he’s always hijacking the clubhouse stereo. We’ll defer to him.

RP Daniel Bard

Current song: Ryan Bingham, “Nothin’ Holds Me Down”

Stats: 2.57 ERA, 0.71 WHIP
Song grade (1-10): 9.4

“Get ready for the passing lane, I’ve got a long way to go.” Good line. This song is a ripper. It’s a perfect song for Bard. He came back to baseball after seven years. He had a long way to go, but nothing held him down. But as a closer, Bard’s walk-in music rules are different than hitters. His song will play for more than two minutes. He’s allowed a song that builds and crescendos. This song sprints from the start. It works, sure, but it’s possible he could do better. This isn’t exactly a song that riles up 45,000 people.

Alt take: NCT U, “90’s Love”
or Van Halen, “Panama”

Urgency to change (1-10): 5.1. Respectfully, we’d like to offer two alternatives for Bard. Two songs at separate ends of the spectrum.

First, a curveball. Bard doesn’t ooze a K-pop vibe, but “90’s Love” would be an awesome bullpen entrance song. It builds. It’s moody. It offers a chance for those 45,000 fans to start “Hey-hey-hey”ing together as loud as they can. It’s urgent, hyping. Batters would freak out. And by the time he’s on his third warmup pitch, the crowd has moved on to singing along with “Here we go, here we go, here we go – ohhhh!”

The second option is to go full cheese. “Panama” could not be more obvious. Even Larry Walker probably thinks this song is dated. And it would work. All decibels. No nuance. It would be a bold move to let it fly with this one. Bard could do it.

(Photo: Katelyn Mulcahy / Getty Images)