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We are desperate to find our son a girlfriend. He’s 37, owns a house and sports car, likes cycling, is tall, slim, good-looking but very shy with girls. The only girlfriend we know of was when he was at university. He says he hasn’t the confidence to internet date. It’s a pity we don’t have matchmakers or arranged marriages. What can we do?

VICKI Matchmakers are just women who know where the girls are and are busybodyish enough to want to get them set up. Become one! And keep an eye out for likely-looking girls (clearly, I’m addressing Mum here, not Dad). Ask your son out with you to events where parents and children socialise equably together – race meetings, Henley, Wimbledon – and where you can fade away if any fish bite. Are you shy, or sociable? If the latter, invite people round. This is the year for parties, isn’t it? Jubilee parties, Olympics parties, engagement parties, fingers crossed.

OCTAVIA You sound like a fab mum. I think I know your son (though if you call that a sports car, watch your exaggerations). I’d like him to have a girlfriend, too, so here are my ideas. 1. Put him up for Take Me Out. It’s naff as hell but makes for brilliant Saturday night viewing and has already notched up three engagements. 2. Start MySingleSon.com. It could make you a fortune, which ultimately will only make him more datable. 3. Throw an annual Turkey Curry Buffet. It worked for Bridget Jones and who wouldn’t want their son dating her?