The Athletic has live coverage of the Aaron Rodgers trade between the Packers and Jets. 

Everyone, welcome Brian and Joe to the “Maury” show.

Now, Brian and Joe have a lot in common, but they also have a mutual problem. Brian has been with the same man for many years — many wonderful years. But their relationship turned sour. Brian’s man kept threatening to leave, and no matter how frustrating it got, Brian kept taking him back (Brian bows his head in shame).

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Awwwwww!

Finally, Brian has had enough. And that’s where Joe comes in. You see, Brian’s man and Joe desperately want to be together. But guess who’s refusing to sign the divorce papers now?! (Brian sits upright and nods defiantly while Joe sneers.)

Ooooooooh!

Backstage is the man everybody’s fighting over. We might as well hear what he has to say. Everybody, here’s Aaron!

Boooooooo!

These guests never made it onto the familiar brick studio set in real life, but it’s a current affair Maury Povich would leave retirement to settle.

“Aaron Rodgers is the perfect lie detector participant,” Povich said Tuesday from his home in New York. “That’s for sure.”

Through an efficient formula refined over 31 years, “Maury” explored soap-operatic situations to reveal a defining truth within 12 minutes. Just like that, we learned who the father was, who was cheating, who was true blue.

Rodgers’ drama has dragged for years in Green Bay but seems to be reaching its end. Packers general manager Brian Gutekunst wants to move on to 2020 first-round draft choice Jordan Love, jilted last year by Rodgers’ head games and flirtations with retirement. Rodgers eventually stayed in the NFC North to be declared the Chicago Bears’ father twice more.

Rodgers is ready for a sexy makeover. Last month, the four-time MVP declared his intention to leave the NFL’s smallest market for its largest. New York Jets general manager Joe Douglas and coach Robert Saleh have spoken as though the trade is inevitable, yet it hasn’t happened.

“This is far too much,” Povich said. “There are too many …” Povich erupted into gravelly laughter, unable to finish his sentence. The master storyteller and passionate sports fan knows sensational theater when he sees it.

Povich’s laughter allowed him to mull how his show would handle Rodgers’ saga, all the grievances both real and imagined.

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“Well, now hang on,” Povich said. “We could have weekly lie detector tests! For instance, on my show, when the woman finds out the guy is not the father, she comes back and tests another guy two weeks later.

“So in a way, my show does prolong a story sometimes. ‘This is the sixth week of Rodgers and the Jets! You’ll never believe what the lie detector reveals next!'”

Rodgers fascinates Povich, a sporting romantic. The son of Hall of Fame sports journalist Shirley Povich was a spring training bat boy for the original Washington Senators. Maury, while earning his journalism degree from Penn, covered the Senators and the seminal 1958 NFL championship game as legendary sportscaster Bob Wolff’s assistant.

In the 1960s and 1970s, Maury was an anchor and reporter at WTTG Channel 5 in Washington, where he covered George Allen’s and Ted Williams’ teams, but that’s also where hard news and talk shows overtook his career ambitions. In 1986, he began hosting “A Current Affair” and five years later launched “The Maury Povich Show,” its name shortened to “Maury” in 1998.

Povich’s attention never strayed from sports, however. He’s voracious about it all. He knows all about the long-churning Rodgers fuss, the 9/11 conspiracy talk, the refusal to get a COVID vaccine, the alternative medicines, the ayahuasca retreats in Peru, the isolation retreat, the “Jeopardy” wanderlust. All the while, Rodgers kept the Packers guessing whether he would play any more, keeping the club in perennial limbo at the game’s most critical position.

“Ever since the vaccine comments,” said Povich, “you’d have to take a look at Aaron and say, ‘I’d like to ask you a lot of questions about how you go about life.’ He’d be a great subject for me.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him — in any context — where I would say, ‘This is a very revealing guy,’ would you? On the McAfee thing? I think that’s all just fun between the two of them.”

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Rodgers’ regular appearances on “The Pat McAfee Show” have an air of transparency, but Povich doesn’t spot significant truths being delivered, nothing that approaches a Ralph Barbieri lie-detector readout or a DNA Diagnostics Center envelope.

What we do see is Rodgers yo-yo-ing the Packers and toying with the Jets presumably because he can.

“He obviously likes games,” Povich said. “I think Rodgers believes that gamesmanship is part of his DNA.”

Granted, Rodgers is more sophisticated than the average “Maury” guest, but his brother won a reality show not too many steps removed. Jordan Rodgers in 2016 was chosen by “The Bachelorette,” JoJo Fletcher, to be her husband.

Aaron Rodgers, by his choice, has been estranged from his family, which sounds like another prototypical “Maury” angle to scrutinize.

Povich is certain he could pull back the curtain and learn why Rodgers apparently can’t stand his family and seems to enjoy jerking folks around for sport.

“Absolutely,” Povich replied. “Oh, man, I’m a veteran of three decades of shows that deal with these kinds of qualities. I’m a pretty good interviewer. I really believe the best interviewers are good listeners. You listen, and then you poke.

“And maybe Rodgers is so slick that he thinks he can beat the lie detector.”

GO DEEPER

What happens if the Packers don’t trade Aaron Rodgers before the 2023 NFL Draft?

Povich’s show thrived in large part because thousands upon thousands of cads believed they could fool the lie detector.

He recalled the bewildering effort of Todd, who thrice disappeared for a week without contacting his 18-year-old, pregnant girlfriend.

“He claimed that he had been kidnapped all three times,” Povich said. “Kidnapped! On three different occasions! And he was sticking by his story. When he told me that, it’s maybe the only time I broke up in hysterics. I had to stop the show.”

Povich laughed so hard over the phone he nearly began to cough.

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“I said, ‘This is crazy! This man still believes this! I mean, come on, fella!'” Povich continued with a roar. “But we still went all the way to the test! At no point did he say, ‘You don’t have to read the results. I was lying.’ Nope!

“They always think they can beat the lie detector. They can’t.”

“Maury” has other devices, too.

Let’s not forget what the Sexy Decoy might reveal. Put Rodgers in the “Maury” green room with Kyle Shanahan. The hidden camera will show whether the San Francisco 49ers can tempt Rodgers to turn away from the Jets.

By the way, New York still, theoretically, could be abandoned at the altar alongside ditched groomsmen Nathaniel Hackett, Allen Lazard and Tim Boyle.

“Who doesn’t love chaos? The more the better,” Povich said. “I’m going to get a boost in the ratings with chaos.”

On the “Maury” set, imagine Jets quarterback Zach Wilson in the front row — the spot for ancillary guests not quite part of the core storyline — while Povich asks Douglas, “Why are you so sure Aaron Rodgers is your quarterback?”

Douglas would leap from his chair on the stage and gesture wildly at side-by-side pictures of Rodgers and Wilson: “Man, look at the nose! Look at those eyes!”

Douglas drafted Wilson No. 2 just two years ago but now lusts for another quarterback. Wilson has been a flawed leader, but he isn’t even 24 years old and has started only 22 games. Saleh last month labeled Wilson the Jets backup despite Rodgers not being on their roster yet. Wilson’s teammates have been expressing their love for Rodgers as they await his arrival.

“All those Shakespearean themes that are involved in sport, whether it be conflict or betrayal or love or deceit,” said Povich, “all of that’s in my show. You get betrayal of guys that want to be traded or go into the transfer portal and have no loyalty to the team or the college. There’s greed.”

Povich, 84, doesn’t want Rodgers to join him in retirement, as amusing as the resulting furor would be in East Rutherford and as tiresome as Rodgers’ act has become.

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The Jets are ascending. Rodgers had an off year in 2022 but is two seasons removed from his fourth MVP Award. He would galvanize the Jets as AFC East contenders. Not for at least a quarter century would a Lombardi Trophy feel more attainable.

“A lot of people want him to move on,” Povich said, “but I still want to see an unbelievable talent at 38 do it at 39. I want to see him make more of those remarkable throws that he’s still capable of making.

“One of the reasons I retired last year was I wanted it to be on my terms. I wanted to retire four years ago, but they kept asking me to do it. The ratings are still very good. It’s still very popular in repeats.

“I just didn’t want to be like all my favorite athletes who held on too long the same way it happened to Joe Namath and Muhammad Ali and Willie Mays. That’s why I don’t want the Rodgers story to end up a tragedy, but he still has more to give.”

Maybe not answers, but at least more touchdown passes.

Then perhaps we will live through Rodgers drama all over again next offseason, as Douglas and the Jets weigh whether the whole ordeal was worth the trouble.

Until next time, America!

(Illustration: Eamonn Dalton / The Athletic; photos: Getty Images)