In The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck compares California’s sunny green hills to “round, soft breasts.” T.S. Elliot once described his wife’s bosom as “ripe pears that dangle.” Before his death, Kurt Vonnegut said he would go to his grave wanting to “pet” a pair of boobs. Some of us are pretty good at articulating our affinity for the female form. But few have mastered the task of handling it in the flesh.

We get it. Breasts are exciting. It can be hard to remain mindful of your movements when you get the opportunity to play with a pair. But remember, with great privilege comes great responsibility. If someone is kind enough to put their breasts in your hands, the least you can do is handle them with care. Whether you consider yourself a seasoned pro or not, below are a few key tips to keep in mind.

Don’t Be Over Eager

If you are an adult individual and you are touching someone’s breasts, it’s likely that you are engaging in some form of foreplay, which means sex might be on the horizon. And that’s an exciting moment. But, please, try not to get overzealous. When we get too eager, we start to behave in foolish ways. Rushing into sex might mean we get too aggressive with our movements. Guys don’t typically like when their partners get rough with their dangling appendages; women aren’t any different.

Understand that All Breasts Aren’t Created Equal

The adage “different strokes for different folks,” applies in a very literal way when it comes to breasts. Small breasts can be pretty sensitive, so try not to squeeze, pinch, or suck too aggressively. Large breasts, on the other hand, appear to be a bit more resilient, so being too gentle might not deliver enough stimulation to the area. Figure out where your partner falls on the spectrum. Of course, no one rule applies to every individual, so talk to your partner, and ask them what they like to be sure.

Don’t Ignore the Nipple

“Nipplegasms” are now a thing. That’s right, there are some women out there who say they can achieve orgasm through nipple play alone. A recent brain imaging study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine confirms that nipple stimulation activates the same areas of the brain as stimulation of the clitoris and vagina (a region a known as the “genital sensory cortex). So, please pay the nipple some proper attention.

Use More Than Your Hands

Fingers are wonderful tools to help deliver sexual pleasure, but it’s important to remember what else we have in our arsenal. That’s right, we’re talking about your mouth. After all, oral pleasure isn’t just designed for the genitals. Licking and sucking can be just as pleasurable as pinching and massaging. Don’t forget about the different sensations different parts of your body can deliver. And hey, you may find you favor the experience as well.

Don’t Play Favorites

Asymmetry can make us comfortable. But one side of the body shouldn’t get all the fun. Remember, both breasts are loaded with nerve endings. Try putting a hand on either breast while kissing. If you want to mix things up, use your mouth on one breast while your hand massages the other. Don’t be afraid to switch it up.

Pay Attention To Them During Sex

We have a tendency to focus on the genitals and only the genitals during sex. But that robs us of our ability to have an even more intense experience. There are plenty of positions that make it easy to cater to the breasts during sex. Missionary is one. Cowgirl is another. Next time you go to grab her by the waist during sex, try to aim a little further north.

Accessorize

Depending on how much your partner enjoys having her breasts stimulated, you might think about bringing in some accessories into the bedroom. Placing an ice cube on and around your partner’s breasts can deliver a unique sensation to the area. If she’s not into cold things, thinking about using a vibrator on her nipples. Just because they’re marketed towards the genitals doesn’t mean they have to stay there. The point is: there’s something out there for everyone.

This article was originally published on May 10, 2018