I'm just gonna dive into the deep end right here and say I'm here to talk about fisting. *Blush*

First, here are the disclaimers.

1. No, I do not have a loose vagina.

I’m not a virgin and I don’t think my vagina feels like I am, but I am nice and snug. I’m grippy.

Vaginas are versatile. Vaginas are elastic. The vagina is fantastic. We can hold a tiny vibrating egg with ease and accommodate an intense fisting — all with the same lovely vagina.

Magic. I swear.

2. Yes, it hurts a little.

It doesn’t hurt like you’d think it would, and it hurts so good. Trust me.

And know that the knuckles are the hardest part.

I used to be ashamed to admit I liked fisting.

If I could even bear to say it to my partner. I’d whisper it like an old New York woman whispering about “the cancer.”

I thought it seemed especially whorish, and that people would think I had a huge — somehow terrible — vagina.

I’ve embraced my sluttiness, though. and now I extol the virtues of a lovely fisting quite often. I feel like a fisting evangelist. It’s fucking marvelous.

I’ve initiated a few women to the joys of fisting, and many of my bragged-to friends came back to tell me they tried it with partners — expressing how much they LOVED it with glowing and giddy fervor.

Fisting is … a wonder.

It’s intense.

I mean that in the purest form of the word.

Fisting can give mind-shattering orgasms. It’s very hard to be fisted quietly.

It is pretty much “call a young priest and an old priest because we need an exorcism” intense.

It dances on the line between pleasure and pain in all the best ways.

So, how do you fist a lovely lass? *Grin* I’m so glad you asked.

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Well, first you get her excited.

Fisting is not a step-one-activity. I’d recommend you go down on her or get her hot and bothered with your hand or a toy.

I would get her nice and excited and very ready and then I’d use a LOT of good quality lube. I’d recommend a silicone lube or something that doesn’t get sticky and is safe for condoms (especially if you have a penis and would like to have sex with her after you fist her). I recommend this. She will be sensitive and puffy and it feels so nice for both of you.

An exam glove can be very useful. I use non-latex nitrile gloves, but any powder-free medical glove can work. It is nice for safer sex and it’s a little more slippery when lubed.

If you don’t use a glove, make sure your hands are clean and your nails are groomed and smooth. If you have long nails, put cotton balls on your nails before you put on the gloves to take away any sharp edges.

Now, you’re ready to start.

A nice slow build-up is good. Once she is relaxed and turned on, you can begin working a few fingers in and playing with her. It’s especially helpful if you can stroke areas inside her that she really enjoys. Maybe play with the area up behind her clit (sometimes the location of her g-spot). 

A lot of women like that area, but I’d go with what she likes.

Now, work in another finger… another. 

To insert your hand, make it into a snake or duck bill shape, collapsing your knuckles to be as narrow as possible (width matters way more than length here).

When you come to the knuckles, slow a little. This is the hardest part.

You’ll notice there is a ring of tighter muscles up to a few inches in. Once past that her vagina becomes more elastic and you’ll fit more comfortably.

If you have difficulty, try turning your hand a bit like you are screwing in a light bulb. This may make her orgasm (a lot) and clamp down on your hand, maybe even involuntarily pushing you out. If this happens, let her enjoy it, perhaps turning your hand the slightest bit.

When she relaxes, slowly try again, turning your hand a little back and forth to get past the knuckles. This may make her orgasm over and over, and you’ll never get in with her orgasming and clenching.

But is that really such a bad thing?

Assuming she hasn’t had her orgasm yet, or after she finishes, push with a bit of oomph to get past your knuckles.

As you hit the back of her vagina, your fingers should fold to make a fist, with your thumb on the outside. This is important to avoid hurting your thumb, as women can exert a great deal of pressure when they orgasm.

She will have to consciously relax to let your knuckles in. This usually feels AWESOME for her and is a relief because this area past the tight ring of muscles near the opening is much more accommodating, and her tighter muscles can close on your smaller wrist and be more comfortable.

To add to the hotness, you can play with her clit with your other hand while you move your fist a tiny bit — either in and out or in that light bulb motion, or both.

As you go, make sure to let her know how hot it all is. Her passion is sexy, no?

If you can’t get your entire hand inside on her on the first try or two, don't think of it AT ALL as a failure.

A fisting attempt is every bit as amazing as a full blown fisting. For me, sometimes it’s so intense and so orgasm-producing I just can’t take it all.

This is a VERY good thing. It’s about pleasure, right?

Afterwards, I’ve sometimes felt a little shy about the fact that my partner just had his or her entire hand inside of me, so I like to be told reassuring sexy things. And I really like to have sex with my partner, especially since I'm now very sensitive and maybe a little swollen (in a good way).

Your girl may feel similarly, so some sexy talk and sexy times might be quite welcome.

There. There’s my little evangelical fisting recommendation. Happy fisting everyone!

This article was originally published at Life on the Swingset. Reprinted with permission from the author.