Mom Gives Teen Son's Girlfriend His College Fund And A Place To Live After He Dumps Her Because She's Pregnant
Daniel Foster A mom questioned if she made the right choice after finding out that her son's girlfriend was pregnant.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AITA," the 44-year-old single mom of her 18-year-old son shared that she recently discovered he was going to be a father, but was disappointed in his reaction.
She gave her son's college fund to his girlfriend because he dumped her after finding out about the pregnancy.
In her Reddit post, she explained that for the last several years she's been saving up so that her son can go to college, both from working full-time and the money that was left behind by her late husband. Her son is aware that he is getting a college fund and expects it whenever he graduates high school.
Unfortunately, that's not the case anymore. She recalled that three months ago, her son had brought home his 17-year-old girlfriend, Lisa, so that they could meet. The two immediately hit it off, and Lisa opened up about her rough family life and felt that her boyfriend's mom was one of the only adults that she could trust in her life.
"Yesterday she called me in tears, and she was almost hysterical so I told her please come over straight away, it’s going to be okay. She asked if my son was home and I said he was not. She came over and I tried to comfort her, and she said that she was pregnant and her parents were kicking her out of the house," she wrote.
With nowhere to go, she promised Lisa that she would always be welcome at their house. That's when Lisa pointed out that it would probably not be a good idea since her son had broken up with her after finding out about the pregnancy.
Upon hearing the news about her son, his mother was furious and promptly called him while he was out with his friends. She berated him over the phone, claiming that she couldn't believe she'd raised someone to be so selfish and refused to take responsibility for both his girlfriend and their unborn child.
"I said even if he does not want to take responsibility for this, Lisa and her baby are going to be part of our family [and] she is going to live with us. I said I would give his college fund to her to help her start a life for herself and the baby," she continued.
Her son was flabbergasted and argued that he didn't understand why, as his mother, she wasn't in his corner, but she rebutted that due to his decision, he didn't deserve to have anyone in his corner at all.
Photo: SpeedKingz / Shutterstock
"This is such a messed up situation, I just want to hear someone else’s opinion. Am [I] in the wrong here? Was I too harsh, is there something I could be missing?" she concluded.
Many agreed that she wasn't wrong for reprimanding her son, but might have been acting too drastic in giving away his college fund.
"I don’t think you’re the a-----e for wanting to be supportive of her and for your son to be involved," one Reddit user suggested. "An honest heart-to-heart with just your son is definitely needed as well. I totally understand that emotions were flying high when this all happened, but you don’t want to lose your son in the process of all this if you don’t have to."
Another user added, "I think it is great that you want to take care of Lisa. If you let her move in, you are totally within your rights but prepare for an awkward time. Lisa and your son need to figure out how to be parents together, even if they are exes."
However, they pointed out that giving away his college fund might not be the best decision, and advised that she could just cut out part of it to give to Lisa instead of the entire thing.
The situation is incredibly complex, and it's important to remember that despite her son being 18, he is still a child — both he and Lisa are — and finding out that you're having a child while still a teenager could have been an extremely scary thought for him to wrap his head around.
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At the end of the day, her son probably needs support from his mother more than anything, and there is room for her to reprimand him for not wanting to support his girlfriend, but punishing him and taking away his future could prove to be an issue between them in the long-run.
As other commenters suggested, the best solution would be to have a sit-down conversation with her son, and then with him and Lisa, because this time is not one for division, especially with something as life-altering as a pregnancy happening.
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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.
