The single mom of a 12-year-old daughter utilized the r/breakingmom subreddit as a place to vent her frustrations about the low points of raising a tween on her own.

The mom explained that she took her daughter on vacation, only to spend their last day away sitting by the pool to get a break from her the young teen’s “absolute nightmare” behavior.

The single mom wants to go on holiday by herself to get away from her preteen’s ‘god-awful attitude.’

She expressed a desire to take a vacation alone, without her phone, to escape her daughter, noting, “I'm a single mum so that'll be impossible anyway, but I can dream.”

Her post was short but to the point, asking for words of guidance on how to navigate the ups and downs — but mostly the downs — of parenting a teenager.

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“Please, can someone tell me this gets better,” she asked. She added that her family and friends “seem to think it’s funny and aren’t particularly supportive,” before ending with one single word: “Help.”

Photo: cottonbro studio / Pexels

In a show of solidarity, the moms of Reddit rallied around the single mom, offering words of encouragement, a sense of perspective, and their own teen daughter horror stories. The mom edited her original post to add how she felt “overwhelmed” with gratitude for the comments she received, showing that even in a parent’s darkest moments, there are others out there who understand that particular journey.

One mom’s comment functioned as a salve for the single mom’s wounds, as she noted that even though the teen stage is a phase that they’ll grow out of, their words and actions still hurt. She said, “I've told my kids straight up that it hurts my feelings and that I'm a person too. That I'm doing my best and that it won't always feel like I have better intentions but I am trying.”

She offered a practical solution that she implemented with her own family, explaining that she, her husband, and their kids all chose a code word that they use in situations where tensions are running high. Anytime they’re feeling strong emotions, they say their code words and take a few minutes away to calm down, finding a way to express themselves that won’t be so hurtful.  

Relying on the statement that ‘It’s just a phase’ is invalidating, as it dismisses the very real hurt parents of teens go through.

The mom clarified in the comments section that she knows her daughter’s moodiness is a normal phase, yet even though she understands that “she’s full of hormones going haywire... it really hurts all the same when I get the brunt of it.”

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Dr. Lucie Hemmen shared a TikTok post on helping teens with emotional regulation. She acknowledged that emotional regulation is a challenge for everyone, especially for teens, due to the sheer intensity of their emotions. 

Hemmen shared that “the number one emotional regulation technique is teaching ourselves to slow down,” which might mean walking away from a fight or taking a moment alone to decompress.

This mom's specific challenge seems to be a lack of support. Being a solo parent means that she’s most likely not able to take that vacation alone that she so desperately wants. Yet taking breaks throughout the day, to prioritize her own mental health, is a gift she can give herself and her daughter.

Photo: cottonbro studio / Pexels 

The mom modeled a brave act. By voicing that her teen daughter’s attitude causes harm, she openly acknowledged that she’s struggling with this particular part of the parenting roller coaster.

Just because it’s a phase doesn’t mean it’s painless, yet she's shown her strength just by virtue of seeking outside support.

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Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.