There's a secret, unspoken competition that happens when two people break up: who can get over it first. 

After the initial shock of the end of a relationship is over, the focus instantly shifts from healing to moving on.

You're supposed to ignore your feelings and have a good night out with your friends.

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You're supposed to flood your Facebook feed with envious photos and mountains of evidence that you're not thinking about him (even if you've been cyberstalking him all along). You're supposed to not care. 

Or at least at like you don't. 

This way of thinking only prolongs the inevitable hurt you're going to feel when you're processing rejection and loss.

But yet, we put it off and we put it off because we can't stand the idea of our ex being happy. Especially when we know they're happier without us. 

So we plug up our hearts in the name of protecting them.

Walls get built, love gets shut out, and we act like everything is fine when it's far from it. 

But the thing about people who act like they don't care is that they really do. Some people even move onto another person right away, but that's just their rebound, and you know it. 

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And the more and more they lie to themselves and everyone else about being over it, the farther they get from actually getting over it. 

Come on, even their closest friends know they aren't over it, no matter how many "nothing's" they scream when their friends ask them when they're thinking about you. 

You are not a superhuman who possesses the capability of getting over an ex with just a few drinks. (Alcohol is a depressant, by the way.) 

You are not clingy because it takes you a few weeks or even a few months to mourn the loss of a relationship. For some people, it can take a couple of years, depending on how bad the breakup was. 

You're just a person, and you have your own way of feeling through things. And you can't judge someone for having feelings. 

But no matter what that way is, you still gotta feel it. 

Who said feelings weren't natural? They're what makes us human! 

While the idea of moving on is a lot more appealing than being sad, you won't ever be able to fully enjoy it unless you do what it takes to really move on.

You can't ignore your feelings and expect to fake it till you make it. In fact, that saying is far too cliche to even be a real concept of how to live your life. 

To love, is to care, even when you get hurt. 

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Emily Blackwood is a writer and editor focused on relationships and pop culture. Follow her on Twitter.