Relationships are hard. But sometimes it's not your fault. It could be because of a bad astrology match between you and another person. So how do you know if that's the case? You use synastry.

Synastry is a branch of astrology that overlays one person's astrological chart over another to see the relationship between them. This can reveal excellent zodiac matches that lead to great compatibility. But it can also reveal problematic synastry matches that may ultimately drive the two people apart.

Saturn conjunct Ascendant synastry is the latter kind. And people who have this astrology match with their partner are often plagued by emotional distance and feelings of unfulfillment in their relationship.

Saturn conjunct Ascendant synastry

Saturn is the taskmaster planet in astrology. It governs discipline, hardships, growth, aging, and other pain-in-the-butt things. The Ascendant in astrology (a.k.a your Rising sign) represents how you come across to the world, the way you start things in life, and also your physical appearance. Conjunction in astrology refers to the aspect created when two planets or points are 0 to 10 degrees apart from each other.

So, when you have Saturn conjunct Ascendant synastry between you and another person, it can literally make the relationship between you feel like a burden that neither wants.

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It doesn't start out that way though.

At first, when the Saturn person and the Ascendant person come together, they are cautious around each other — the Saturn person more so than the Ascendant person. This distance and caution can heighten the sexual attraction between the two people.

But soon the Ascendant person will start feeling very self-conscious around the Saturn person. They will be worried about how they are coming across to the Saturn person, whether their manners are on point, if they are speaking too much, if the Saturn person thinks they are good-looking, so on and so forth. Saturn's presence can literally create self-esteem issues in the Ascendant person even if they were trying to hide it under the surface. Saturn draws it out of them.

The Saturn person can also make the Ascendant person feel as if they are being judged and scrutinized. Especially if they do something that goes against the nature of the Saturn person.

The thing is, our Ascendant is the most natural way we express ourselves. For example, an Aries Rising will be brash and bold while a Cancer Rising will be coy and sensitive. It's the opposite with Saturn. Saturn in our birth chart is the point where we feel the most restricted. It can also be an area that we are ashamed of. For example, Saturn in Scorpio can make a person sexually repressed while Saturn in Sagittarius can make a person afraid of the world and denounce higher education as unnecessary.

So when one person's point of restriction overlays another person's point of expression in synastry, it's bound to create problems. Big ones.

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The nature of this depends on the Saturn person's temperament. If the Saturn person is immature and dogmatic, they will straight away not like the way the Ascendant person expresses themself. They may even find it childish or immature even if there's nothing wrong with the way the Ascendant person lives life or conducts themselves.

For example, A Saturn in Cancer will find the emotional and soft-hearted nature of a Cancer Ascendant ridiculous. But it's not ridiculous. Saturn in Cancer is the one who is emotionally repressed.

On the other hand, if the Saturn person is not dogmatic, they will feel insecure in the presence of the Ascendant person. They will judge themselves as unworthy of being with the Ascendant person because the Ascendant person is so much observably better than them at something they consider their weakness.

For example, a Saturn in Aquarius will feel insecure around an Aquarius rising since the latter is naturally entrepreneurial while Saturn in Aquarius does not have those skills.

This reveals another point of contrast in a Saturn conjunct Ascendant synastry. If one or both parties are immature and rigid, the relationship will never work. They will constantly pinch each other's insecurities and make the other feel judged.

But if the partners are mature and capable of growth and learning (which depends on other points in their birth chart), this synastry match can actually be a blessing in disguise for both. More so for the Saturn person as they can directly learn from the Ascendant person how to overcome their weaknesses.

After all, everyone has to overcome the weakness of their Saturn sign and house during a Saturn return. So Saturn conjunct Ascendant synastry can potentially make a Saturn return easier for the Saturn person if they are with the Ascendant person.

The Ascendant person, likewise, can overcome their personal insecurities and self-esteem issues when they are with the Saturn person if the relationship is healthy. It can help them see why they resonate so well with some people and not so much with others. They'll realize that the latter is not because there's something wrong with them, but because of many factors, including the other person's insecurities, triggers, weaknesses, and differences in beliefs.

This sets the Ascendant person free in a different kind of way in a Saturn conjunct Ascendant synastry. They learn to stop caring about pleasing everyone and focus more on being their authentic self, giving others the space to either come towards them or walk away.

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Valeria Black is a tarot reader and astrology nerd with a dash of wicked humor on the side. Follow her on Instagram @queen.of.vands for more.