By Jessica Niziolek

“Soft and kind-hearted people are not fools. They know what people did to them, but they forgive again and again because they have beautiful hearts.” —Unknown

If you’re someone like myself who has a soft heart, you’re probably wondering, “How can a heart as soft as mine survive in a world that is constantly changing, judging, and bullying people for no reason at all?”

Trust me when I say that while your heart will undoubtedly take some heavy hits, it will survive and thrive, and so will you.

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As a vulnerable person, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is to set boundaries.

Boundaries are the best possible way to remind me to protect myself. If I give all I have to someone or something without reserving it for others, including myself, then what good am I to anyone?

I have now made it a personal rule to not give anyone more than what I get back in return. I understand that people’s daily lives are busy and hectic.

As I look back at all of the people who didn’t make it to the current chapter of my life, I remember that if people want you in their lives, they will make an effort to put you there and keep you there.

The people who left me were all part of a lesson that I had to learn about true value and self-worth.

Genuine people will leave you whole rather than in pieces, questioning your self-worth, like I once was with some of the people who had been in my life.

While it did take some time, I now recognize the blessings behind all those hard lessons that my heart had to learn back then. I never again want to be in a position in which I question my self-worth or my sanity.

For me, that situation was a big wake-up call. I realized then that I had to start putting up boundaries with people out of self-protection.

Having a soft heart is not a punishment, but others may see it as a soft spot of which to take advantage.

Will you always be able to tell who is genuine and sincere? No, but I believe that to try to judge someone’s sincerity, you have to rely on your gut instinct.

Before I learned to put up boundaries, I was very naive, and I still have a lot to learn about life and people’s true intentions.

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Having a soft heart is not a crime. Those who mistreat our hearts make us feel as though our hearts are an internal scarlet letter.

That’s why, when our hearts experience new heartbreaks, the pain and unfairness feels so heavy, so unbearable at times.

We carry the pain and shame in our hearts for those who should carry it.

Our empathy, sympathy, and compassion are trapdoors that others always trigger too late.

My dear soft-hearted souls, please remember that your hearts are precious commodities that you should look after carefully. Guard them with such ferocity that you will never forget just how important you and your tender heart are to the world.

You will survive the cold harshness of this world and thrive against the ugly souls who try to stomp out your heart from beating. You will shine against the rest as you fight to survive in a world that is hard on soft, tender souls.

Please remember, dear tender heart, that you are never alone.

Sincerely,

A soft-hearted soul who has seen and lived a lot of life

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Jessica Niziolek is a writer, poet, and founder of the Abler Blog. She's a contributor to Thought Catalog, The Mighty, Medium, Unwritten, and more.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.