But that doesn't mean you shouldn't block them. Harassment on social media or on your message app is real and you have a right not to be harassed by someone lurking behind your thread. 

What are you really doing when you block someone on Facebook? 

Unfriending is exactly that. You’re unfriending someone you once loved or wanted to love or who wanted to love you.

You will feel an energetic release just the way you felt their lurking. Getting attention from unhealthy people means you’re continuing to set yourself up for unhealthy relationships. You’re making the decision that ‘you can handle it’ when in fact, you can’t. 

We are energetic beings who connect with others. It takes a lot to put up boundaries and to keep bad people out. But it’s easier once you start doing so. And you will feel a palpable shift when you do.

A recent client of mine was constantly on the receiving end of some pretty disgusting texts and comments on their thread. It took a few conversations until they were willing to put themselves first, to stop the harassment and to put up safe boundaries. This included blocking mutual friends and family relations.

This is an important declaration. 

When you decide that your life matters, that your mind is yours to manage, that your heart is ready for healing and that you really can’t handle the mean-spirited antagonism, then you’re onto healthy relationships. 

RELATED: The Top 10 "Golden Rules" Of Facebook Relationship Etiquette

Up until then, you’re fooling yourself. No one can handle the onslaught of negativity. And social media hiding lets it all hang out.

Personally, with my divorce coaching Facebook and IG pages, I’ve had to ban, block, delete, unfriend, and not accept a lot of people. My blocked list has a host of names. Not because I don’t want to help them heal, but because they’re so angry and mean I’m not the teacher for them. 

I can’t be somebody’s punching bag and I don’t want those who’ve hurt me in the past to have the privilege of knowing me now.

That’s the next step in personal healing. If you consider yourself a good person, if you’re willing to take responsibility for your part in the breakup, if you’re doing your healing work and gaining wisdom and softening your heart instead of building arguments and walls, then why in the world would you want someone who’s hurt you in the past to find a way to you now? 

They don’t get you.

And it’s worth everything to keep it that way. What you have to offer the world is your energy, your heart, your generosity. When you’re ready to forgive yourself for your part in the breakup, you free yourself to love again.

But for those who want to keep you in your victim role, for those who want to spy on how you’re doing, their goal isn’t to support you. It never was!

So it’s time to decide to protect yourself. If you’re a parent and your children’s other parent is the person who’s still ghosting and spying on you, this is what I recommend: