If you want to understand your dating life, you need to ask yourself this one question: What was your dad like? 

Did he care about how you feel or did he ask you what you think? If he walked in the door, would he ask you how you felt or what you did today?

After you've answered these questions, look at your life, then look at the men you're dating: Do they care about how you feel? Are you making all the plans in the relationship — or are they?

If your dad raised you to do good and feel good, you will attract men who want you to feel good. 

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If he didn't, you may be distracted by Peter Pan men.

Peter Pans are charming, funny and great in bed. They're just not great at working or holding steady jobs. They have big plans and great ideas, but they're not worth much when it comes to doing the footwork. 

Of course, they make you feel sensual for a few moments. However, you're always the one who has to make plans. You're always the one that has to get things done.

If you're dating someone like your father, a man who wasn't there for you and didn't care about how you feel, you may recreate the same pattern with the men you're dating.

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You can change this pattern by following these 3 steps:

Step 1: Awareness

Step 2: Acceptance

Step 3: Take contrary action

Choose men who care about how you feel. These are men who make plans and want to build something with you. These are men who don't just look good to your eyes but also sound good to your ears.

The body doesn't lie. When you're dating, ask yourself this one simple question: Does being with this guy feel good or not feel good?

James Allen Hanrahan is a dating relationship coach in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love.

This article was originally published at jamesallenhanrahan.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.