Woman's Toxic Mother-In-Law Sent Holiday Card Listing All The Bills She Paid For This Year
Sarah Rodriguez At its core, the holiday season should be about the importance of spending time with family and friends more than the gifts that are often associated with this time of year.
One woman’s mother-in-law agrees — but maybe didn't have the best approach when she tried to tell her family why they weren't getting holiday gifts. Believing she practiced the gift of giving enough throughout the year, she opted to give her daughter-in-law and her son something a little different.
The mother-in-law sent them a holiday card listing the bills she paid for instead of a gift.
In a now-deleted video, a woman with the TikTok username SageAndWine revealed the holiday card that her husband’s mother sent them.
“Toxic mother-in-law,” read the text box over the video. “Not the first time she’s done this.”
The card reads “Season’s Greetings” and has a cute painting of a couple of birds on the cover, but the contents within the card aren’t quite as lovely. Instead of giving the couple a gift, she decided to itemize the bills that she paid for into a list to throw in their faces as a way to explain why she wouldn’t get them any real gifts.
“Merry Christmas,” her MIL wrote. “Received a big blanket, $112.40 Xfinity bill paid! $584.89 on electric bill! $697.29 + gift. Merry Christmas.”
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“So this is our toxic mother-in-law,” she says in the video’s voiceover. “I just want to preface this video by saying that there is no way you absolutely need to get a Christmas gift or give a Christmas gift.”
However, she explains that she “chooses just to repetitively do this type of behavior to my husband,” instead of simply telling them that she can’t afford a gift. The woman had lost her job because of the pandemic, and needed some extra help but, as far as her husband's mom is concerned, no good deed goes unpunished.
“Basically she’ll say, 'Hey, throughout the year I’ve done things for you guys' and y’know she did those things when we lost our jobs due to COVID,” she explained. “So that was really amazing but she chooses to send a card, basically reminding, 'Hey you don’t get a gift because I’ve done all these other things.' When she literally could just, I don’t know, not give us one or just wish us a Merry Christmas.”
It can be extra difficult to deal with toxic in-laws during the holidays.
While it's fairly easy to limit time spent with toxic family members throughout the rest of the year, the holidays are typically a time when it's necessary to come face-to-face with them. According to experts, one of the best things you can do in this type of situation is to accept that the toxic family member likely isn't going to change.
“Do your best to have compassion and be forgiving,” Kathryn Smerling, a psychotherapist in New York City, told Apartment Therapy. “Treat people as you wish to be treated and, ultimately, your goal is to realize that people are who they are and let it be.”
If the toxic family member's behavior is so pervasive that it becomes abusive, it's totally OK to go no contact.
“It’s okay to not be around family members who are toxic or abusive,” Emily Cosgrove, a Canadian licensed marriage and family therapist, suggested to Apartment Therapy. “Since family gatherings can be stressful during the holiday season it’s more important to maintain your mental health and wellness.”
Related Stories From YourTango:Set your boundaries where you're most comfortable and promise yourself that you'll respect them.
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Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Keep up with his rants about current events on his Twitter.
