Woman Forbid Her Husband From Going To Ex-Wife's Funeral And Is Glad She's Gone
Emily Baldwin When a divorce happens, it can either be amicable or World War III, depending on the circumstances.
When exes move on to new partners, the situation can change drastically.
One woman took to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) to share her feelings about her husband’s ex-wife who recently passed away.
She stopped him from going to the funeral and doesn't feel sad about the woman's death.
She starts by being completely upfront and telling readers, “I'll admit I'm biased right off the bat. I couldn't stand her.”
While her husband still considers his former love a “friend”, the Redditor simply refers to her as his “ex.”
Her husband was previously married and remained friends with his ex-wife when they split.
The woman and her husband are in their 40s and have been married for the last ten years.
He was previously married to a woman he had met and married in college.
The relationship was short-lived, and they both decided they would be better matched as friends.
That was over twenty years ago, but the poster makes it clear that her husband expressed how important his ex was in his life early on in their relationship.
He had called her his friend initially, but after a couple of months of dating, let her know that the woman was actually his former wife.
Still, he assured her the relationship was purely platonic, but his new love still had some reservations about the situation.
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Her husband was transparent about how he felt about her concerns.
He told her, “That's fine. If you have a serious issue with it, let me know now and save us some time. I'll choose her.”
“I like you and all, but I've known her for over 12 years and she's one of the most important people in my life. You'll have to be ok with that if you want us to be a thing."
Most women would have walked away at that point, but the Redditor accepted his terms and continued the relationship.
She did attempt to broach the subject after he asked her to marry him, but he responded with, “Why would us getting married affect my friendships?”
The woman let it go and buried her feelings but has been filled with resentment ever since.
She believes that the man’s ex-wife had a special bond with him that she will never have, and the woman’s new husband seemed perfectly okay with it.
The husband and his ex-wife had spent time together, frequently going to the movies.
That made the woman super uncomfortable, and she expressed that to him.
True to form, he told his wife, “We had this conversation before. You had your chance to back out.”
Once again, she was left to deal with her emotions about the relationship on her own.
Fast forward to the present day, his ex-wife had recently died unexpectedly of an aneurysm.
She and her friend/ex-husband had eaten lunch together when she collapsed on the way to her car and never recovered.
Although her husband has been inconsolable, she admits she is relieved that his ex is finally out of the picture.
Noticing that he has been deeply involved in planning the funeral alongside the deceased woman’s husband, the poster asked him, “You don't think you're going, do you?”
She reasoned that her words were appropriate because “She's dead, so she's not a factor anymore. He doesn't get to use his 'she's my friend' excuse since she doesn't exist anymore.”
She explained, “He had his cry for a couple of days. He gets to be done with mourning her already. There's no need for him to go to her funeral since I wouldn't want her at his.”
Those vicious statements prompted her husband to respond in anger, telling her he is going regardless of her feelings.
He defiantly yelled, “I'm willing to burn this to the f--king ground,” while holding up his ring finger with his wedding band.
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He reiterated that outside of his current wife, his ex was the closest person to him.
Now everyone, including the woman’s husband and her own sisters, is telling her that she is insensitive.
All of them are certain that the relationship did not extend beyond a genuine friendship.
Related Stories From YourTango:The dead woman’s partner even went as far as to call her a “ghoul” because of how she was acting.
She shares that she never supported the friendship and deemed it inappropriate, but went along to get along.
With her nemesis finally out of the way, she is no longer hiding her true feelings and is speaking her mind.
She wants to know if she is wrong in demanding that her husband skip the funeral.
Commenters pulled no punches, letting her know exactly how they felt.
One comment, upvoted over 79,000 times said, “When he divorces you, he probably won't have to explain his friendship with you to the next woman.”
Others agreed, with one person stating, “I've been thinking about this a lot, and based on [her] behavior I am so sad the guy lost the only good friend in his life. [His wife] isn't one.”
Overwhelmingly, readers considered her behavior “heartless” and “cold” and empathized with her mourning husband.
She was voted the absolute a--hole.
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NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.
